Why do I experience decreased desire? article image

Why do I experience decreased desire?

It is completely normal to lose the desire sometimes and it happens to most of us at times in life. Often, reduced sex drive is due to stress, feeling tired, problems in the relationship, but also hormonal changes such as menopause or falling testosterone levels are common causes. There are many things you can influence yourself to get your desire back and we will help you with that in this article. It is important to underline that there is no such thing as "normal" sex drive, we all have different levels of sex drive to begin with.

Here are some common causes of low sex drive and what you can do about them. <3

Problems in the relationship

This is one of the absolute most common reasons why sex drive decreases or disappears completely for periods. If you and your partner have many unsolved problems or argue and fight a lot, it can lead to stress and reduced sex drive. Here, for example, couples therapy can be a good option to get to the bottom of the problems and open up communication. Another tip is to actively think more about sex, because the more you think about sex, the more sex drive you get.

Stress and fatigue

Stress in everyday life is also a very common cause of reduced sex drive. We live at a fast pace with a constant puzzle to make life come together. Long-term stress leads to increased levels of stress hormones in the body and reduced levels of feel-good hormones, which can cause sex drive to decrease. Being constantly tired and worn out also makes it difficult to access the feelings of pleasure. Sleep and recovery are super important to keep hormones in balance, so try to prioritize good sleep and maybe some relaxation exercises to wind down in the evenings?


When women end up in menopause, the levels of the hormone estrogen drop, which can lead to reduced sex drive and also dry mucous membranes. Many go through menopause with several troublesome symptoms where dry mucous membranes are very common and can cause pain during intercourse and simply not wanting to have sex. There is much you can do to relieve dry mucous membranes and support the body during this period of life. There are many good emollient oils, intimate creams and lubricants that make intercourse easier, but you can also help the body from the inside with, for example, sea buckthorn oil rich in omega-7. You can say that sea buckthorn oil lubricates the mucous membranes from the inside. Biotin and vitamin A also have an important function for our mucous membranes. You can help the body to balance with exercise, healthy diet, food supplements, etc., which in turn makes it easier to get the sex drive back.

Falling testosterone levels

After about the age of 40, testosterone levels start to drop in men, which is completely natural. Low testosterone levels can also be due to obesity, depression, cardiovascular problems and certain diseases. Lack of sleep and poor diet can in some cases also affect testosterone levels in the body. Testosterone is a very important hormone for sexual desire and energy, and you can easily measure its levels via blood tests.


Medical treatment with certain types of drugs can lead to reduced sex drive. Common examples are SSRIs (antidepressants), blood pressure medications and diuretics. Have a dialogue with your doctor if you feel that your medication affects your sex drive and see if there are other options with less side effects.

There are also other common causes such as having recently given birth, certain contraceptives, mental illness, alcohol, drugs and various medical conditions.

Tips and advice

  • Regular exercise – Find a form of exercise that suits you
  • Prioritize sleep and recovery
  • Eat nutritious and varied food - With stable energy levels, it is easier to find your way back to the desire for a functioning love life
  • Do things that make you feel good - What makes you happy?
  • Nurture your relationship – Communicate with your partner about what you need to get the spark back
  • Dietary supplements - Certain nutrients are especially important for sex drive, but there are also specific products designed specifically for increased sex drive
  • Quit smoking (if you smoke) – Smoking can cause decreased sex drive

And remember, it is very common to lose the desire for periods. It happens to all of us and shouldn't be taboo or something you should feel bad about. You just have to figure out what it is due to in order to find the right solution for you.